


Undisclosed Desires

by NemesisGray



Series: I Swear [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: AU, F/M, Fun with Force Bonds, She's Asexual, Trooper Gwen, she's more oblivious than Aric though, so precious, they're both kinda oblivious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:00:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27973419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NemesisGray/pseuds/NemesisGray
Summary: title taken from the song by the same name by Muse
Relationships: Female Trooper/Aric Jorgan
Series: I Swear [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198766
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

Gwen Fellev was nervous. Ten years in Republic space, the last four being a part of the military and nobody had figured out she was a run-away Sith.

She was always afraid that somebody would find out, sense it, as if the many, many Jedi she’d come across in the last ten years could sense not only her powers but her duplicity, her fake accent.

So far, she’d been lucky. But she knew that luck wouldn’t last. Not forever.

And her first posting was the real test. She was being thrown into a warzone. Her real accent might slip. She was thankful the war was on a small planet where the likelihood of her coming across Sith or others from her childhood was slim to none.

Ord Mantell.

Assigned to Havoc Squad. She couldn’t believe her luck. Growing up on stories of Havoc Squad’s success from her father. Or was she unlucky?

Who knew?

All she knew was that she beat out some Twi’lek named Jon for the spot. According to the instructors, she had faster reflexes which is what a SpecForces unit needed.

Gwen tried not to cringe. Of course, she had faster reflexes. All Force-users did.

She shook her head violently. No. She **_earned_** her spot in Havoc.

She didn’t use her abilities any more than what her body was used to. The Force enhanced muscles naturally. She couldn’t turn that off anymore then she could stop being a Chiss or having pink hair.

No. She had nothing to prove about her worthiness to be the newest Havoc recruit. 

What she had to prove was whether or not she was more than a Sith. If she could be a person and a warrior instead of just a warrior.

#

Gwen limped into the command center. She wasn’t in the mood for anything other than changing out of her armor and going to see a medic. The one good thing about being in the Republic was the presence of all the medics. There were hardly any in Imperial Space, and a Sith was expected to endure the pain instead of actually getting help.

“Fellev!” Tavus’ voice cracked like a whip, echoing throughout the hallway.

Gwen twisted quickly, bringing her arm up in a salute, grimacing in pain. “Sir?”

“No rest for the wicked, sergeant,” Tavus smiled benignly, or what others would view as benignly but Gwen had seen too many pleasant faced Sith in her lifetime to ever believe the man’s face when the look in his eyes belied the feeling. “Come have a drink with us. A celebration of your first successful day as a full member of Havoc.”

Gwen blinked at the older man but found herself nodding. A full member of Havoc sounded nice. She’d never been a member of a group or had friends before. And, despite the lie in the man’s eyes, his offer was something she wanted enough she’d be willing to lie to herself for the night. “Of course, sir. Let me clean up.”

“Meet you in the cantina, sergeant.” Tavus’ smile was a gaping maw in his mouth and Gwen had to turn away to keep up with the illusion that she would be friends with her squadmates.

She would.

#

Gwen was drunk, unpleasantly so. She couldn’t figure out why; the Republic didn’t sell Chiss alcohol and Fort Garnick didn’t’ carry Wookie or Cathar liquor, the only liquor that wasn’t Chiss made that could get her drunk. Something wasn’t right, she was on her second beer.

Needles whispered something to Fuse, causing the Zabrak to blush and turn away.

Wait.

She blinked, trying to get her eyes to focus. “I’m gonna go get a refill.” 

Slowly standing, she wobbled a bit, waving off Gearbox’ helping hands before walking towards the bar, her trail zig-zagging.

“Water with a slice of banana, please.” She was allergic to bananas, but the slice of banana flavoring her water would get her sick enough to vomit, get out of drinking, and not leave any horrible repercussions for the next day.

Groaning, she leaned her head against the bar, oblivious to the person that came to stand beside her as she waited for her drink.

“Why do I feel like they’re trying to poison me?” She muttered to herself.

The bartender slid her glass of water with a banana slice floating sadly at the bottom towards her. 

“Thank you.” Gwen smiled at the bartender in gratitude before picking up her drink. 

She paused; she really didn’t want to go back to the table. She also didn’t want to drink this.

Swallowing, she turned slightly, stumbling into the person next to her.

She would’ve fallen if the person she knocked into hadn’t reached out, his arms circling around her, yanking her to his chest, preventing her fall.

“Oh, thank you.” Gwen found herself staring deeply into the gorgeous blue eyes of Aric Jorgan.

He just stared at her, a frown marring his face, face inches from her own.

“You doing alright there, Fellev?” Aric asked, clearing his throat.

“Yes, sir.” She smiled, her smile lighting up her face. “I don’t think I’m used to the beer they’ve been plying me with.” 

He blinked at her, clearing his throat again, finally noticing he was still holding her. “Maybe you should go to your bunk.” His arms loosened, slowly letting her right herself.

Aric’s brow furrowed as Gwen slipped from his arms.

“That sounds like an excellent idea, sir.” Again, that flash of a smile, a relieved tone to her voice. “Do give my squad my regrets.”

“Will do.” Aric grabbed her arm, taking the glass from her hand as she turned.

Another flash of her smile, a quick stumble that she corrected herself, some wobbling footsteps before she was gone.

He stared after her. He’d never seen a slate-skinned, fuchsia-haired Chiss before. It was oddly striking. He narrowed his gaze and looked down at the drink she abandoned in his hand. Taking a whiff, he discovered it was water with a banana slice.

He almost gagged, quickly setting the glass on the bar top, thankful none of the water touched him. He wasn’t sure touching a banana would give him an allergic reaction, but he didn’t want to chance it.

But this was not drugged. He scented it on her breath. Who drugged her and why?

His narrowed gaze looked over the cantina. None of the soldiers present were the ones rumored to use such means to get laid. And as far as Aric had watched, Sergeant Fellev only interacted with her squad.

With Needles getting her drink every time.

Aric heard himself growling as realization hit. Needles. The slimy, little ball of putrescence that was the Havoc medic.

“Did Sergeant Fellev bow out?” Needles’ ingratiating voice drew Aric’s attention.

“Yeah, she said she wasn’t feeling well.” Aric answered, his hands balling into fists at his side.

Rage enveloped him and he wanted to punch Needles’ teeth in, he could already hear the crack of Needle’s cybernetics as they broke under the weight of Aric’s fist.

“Too bad. I was looking forward to seeing how she handled her alcohol.” the cyborg leered, his words lilting in a way that told Aric the Havoc medic had impure thoughts about Sergeant Gwen Fellev.

Aric wanted to punch the man in the face while growling out how Sergeant Fellev was a person even if she was Chiss and as such demanded respect and to give consent.

Aric wanted to slam Needles’ face against the counter until the medic’s entire head would need cybernetics.

Aric wanted to do a lot of things to Needles but instead he sniffed, crossed his arms, and said, “I sent her back to her bunk. I don’t need a soldier with a hangover making mistakes in the field on such an important mission and I refuse to babysit her in the command center.”

Needles lips turned up like he knew Aric was lying. “Well, well, Lieutenant Jorgan, ruining all our fun.”

The sneer on Aric’s face was angry and threatened violence. “I can’t order you Dorant but we both know to find this bomb we need to be at the top of our game. Plying the new recruit with drugs and alcohol will hurt the mission, not help it. I don’t care if it is some sort of hazing.”

Needles lost his smile. “Oh, never fear, Jorgan, we’re all taking this mission seriously.”

With that, the cyborg turned and sauntered away, Aric’s glare following after him.


	2. Chapter 2

She felt queasy while meeting her squad mates. Something wasn’t right and it had nothing to do with their shock of her being Chiss.

She hadn’t like them; they made her skin crawl.

And now she knew why.

They were traitors. 

They defected to the Empire.

She wondered if it was ironic her squad mates defected to the Empire when she defected to the Republic.

“Hmmm.” Something to contemplate on her next day off.

“Morning, boss!” Aric stated, voice still laden with sleep as he shuffled into the kitchenette.

“Morning, Jorgan.” Gwen smiled at him in her reflection, meeting his eyes briefly.

The corner of his mouth quirked up before he buried his head in the fridge that was almost too big for the apartment’s small kitchen.

Checking her wrist chrono she finished the last of her caf as Aric chugged an entire energy drink.

“Rough night?” she inquired, placing her caf mug in the sink.

His response was to grunt, reaching into the fridge again to pull out two cans of caf. He paused before he closed the door. “Hey, boss, have you been drinking what’s in this jar?”

“Hmm?” she moved to the fridge, bending down to peer inside. “Oh, you mean the blue jar?” At his nod she nodded. “Yep. It tastes delicious in my caf and it doesn’t give me stomach cramps.”

Aric blinked at her in shock. “You realize it’s alcoholic right?”

“What?” Gwen frowned, reaching past the Cathar to grab the jar. “Fermented grophet milk?” 

Aric watched as her eyes widened and a look of horror came to her face.

“Oh no! Am I drunk? Do you think people noticed I was drinking? Did I bring shame upon the noble name of Havoc Squad with my imbibing?” She asked in a rush, panic clutching the jar of alcohol to her chest.

He snorted. “No, boss. You aren’t drunk. You’ve only had about a shot instead of the entire jar. You’re fine. You haven’t brought shame on the noble name of Havoc.” The look of intense relief on her face had a chuckle escaping his throat. “In fact, I’m unsure if you can even get drunk unless you’re drugged due to your species' high metabolism.”

“Drugged?” Gwen’s eyes searched his face. “You mean like my first night on Ord Mantell.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah.”

“How did you know?” She placed the jar back in the fridge.

“I smelled it on your breath when I caught you.” Aric replied, closing the fridge door.

Gwen nodded. “Thank you so much for ordering me to my bunk that night, Jorgan. I don’t think I ever properly thanked you.”

“It’s no problem.” Clearing his throat, he met her eyes. “Anybody else would’ve done the same.”

“No,” her hand touched his. It was cool, soothing against his warmth and he felt a current pass between them, “they wouldn’t have.”

Aric searched her face and wanted to ask how she was so certain but figured that was for another time. Maybe after they were better friends, because he was pleased to realize, they were becoming friends.

The chrono on the wall chiming had the two of them jumping away from each other and heading towards the door.

“So, ‘the noble name of Havoc’ huh?” He asked as she locked the door.

“Shut it, Jorgan.” Gwen grumbled, sticking her tongue out at him.


	3. Chapter 3

“Lieutenant Fellev, can I speak to you,” Ria eyed Aric for a second, adding, “alone?”

Gwen and Aric exchanged glances before the Cathar jerked his chin to the door.

“I’ll be outside, boss.”

Gwen flapped her hand at him and let the Nautolan lead her to a dark corner.

Aric tried to stop the smirk twisting his lips at the thought of why the dancer was asking his CO for a private conversation. A chuckle of amusement didn’t escape him until he was outside the hall and leaning against a wall. He’d seen the way the Nautolan kept glancing at Gwen. 

And leaning against the wall is how Gwen found him ten minutes later, a confused air about her, brow furrowed in thought as he fell into step beside her, the two of them heading back to the taxi and Ria’s ex-husband.

“Jorgan,” Gwen started slowly, “would you say I was unfriendly?”

Aric thought a moment, bobbing his head to the side as they walked. “No, I wouldn’t call you unfriendly.”

Gwen nodded, chewing her bottom lip before she asked, “so somebody asking me for drinks wouldn’t be weird?”

“No,” he snorted, a chuckle escaping him, “is that what Miss Delaru did? Ask you out for drinks?” He now understood exactly why the Nautolan had been so unhappy in her marriage. 

“Well, kinda?” Gwen laughed. “She said she got off at twenty hundred hours and didn’t go into work until fifteen hundred hours the next day, so if I wanted I could holo her when I got off and we’d go get drinks. She knows a great cantina.”

“Congratulations, boss!” He held up his hand in a high-five, pleased his boss got a date.

Gwen merely blinked at him, her brow furrowing as her gaze flickered between his eyes and his hand. “Whatcha doin’ there, Jorgan?”

“It’s a high-five, boss. It’s what friends do when they’re congratulating each other.” He watched as her confusion morphed to understanding.

“Oh! And I just,” she flattened her hand and smacked his lightly.

“Needs practice,” he grinned down at her, “but basically.”

“Yay!” She grinned so wide, her smile lighting up her face, she high-fived him again before sobering. “I think she just wants to ask about joining the military though. She mentioned how it was interesting and she’d like to know more.”

Rolling his eyes, he snorted. Right, aka about joining the military. He’d play along if Gwen didn’t want to acknowledge it was a date. “You gonna holo her?”

Gwen tensed for some strange reason, mumbling, “I don’t know.”

“She likes you, boss.” Aric gave her a side long look. “You should holo her.”

Gwen shrugged, stuffing her hands in the armor’s pockets. “Hmmmm,” was her reply.

She kicked at a piece of rubble despondently before walking in the general direction of the taxi and Ria’s now ex-husband.

#

His ears perked up as he heard Gwen enter the apartment, curious, he checked his wrist chrono, frowning at the time.

“Early night, boss?” He asked as Gwen walked past the conference room.

“Oh, Jorgan, you’re still awake?” She frowned at all the datapads in front of him.

“Paperwork.” He indicated his datapad by lifting it before taking in her appearance. 

He hadn’t seen her as she left Havoc’s official apartment. She wore a black off the shoulder top paired with black leggings and black sandals. She looked lovely.

“You didn’t do all of it, did you?” She came to stand beside him, her small, delicate hands gliding over the datapads. 

“No, just my part.” 

“Mind if I join you? I need some help.” She blushed. 

“Help?”

She sniffed and tilted her head, humming as she tried to think up an answer that wasn’t embarrassing. “I’ve never filed paperwork as a CO before,” she finally admitted, muttering, hand dropping to her side to toy with the hem of her shirt. “And I don’t want to do it incorrectly. Can’t have the CO of Havoc being an embarrassment.”

“That’s true.” Aric smothered a smile. “Can’t besmirch the noble name of Havoc.”

She glared at him, lips twitching in a smile, her own lips pressed together to stop a snort of laughter. “Shut it, Jorgan.”

He did laugh then and she stuck her tongue out at him in response.

“Yes, I’ll help you,” he wheezed as the laughter petered off.

“Yay! I'll go change and get my datapad!” She flashed him a smile before flouncing out of the room.

Chuckling again, he turned back to the paperwork, shaking his head. There had to be something wrong with somebody so excited about doing paperwork.

#

Gwen meandered into the conference room, datapad clutched precariously under an arm as she carried two cups of caf, wearing what Aric had designated as her relaxed work clothes. Her outfit consisted of regulation shorts, a too big teeshirt that had a tendency to fall off one shoulder, and a tank top. It wasn’t too far from Aric’s own relaxed work clothes, the only difference being his teeshirt wasn’t so big as to fall off his shoulders and he wore no tank top, but he too wore regulation shorts and teeshirt.

“Libations, as a thanks for help.” She smiled at him, sliding into the chair beside him, placing a cup of a steaming mysterious liquid in front of him. 

“Hot chocolate,” he sniffed the air. “With marshmallows,” he took another sniff, “and chili pepper?” intriguing, that’s the way he prepared his own hot chocolate.

“The only way to drink it.” She mumbled. “My roommate’s husband introduced me to it.”

“He had good taste.” Aric grabbed the cup, taking a sip with a pleased sigh. “It’s my favorite way to drink hot chocolate too.”

“No way!” Gwen laughed, an incredulous look on her face.

He nodded over exaggerating enthusiastically, placing his cup on a coaster, mocking her in a teasing manner.

She tossed another feigned glare his way before placing her cup on a coaster as well. “Are you going to stop teasing me and help me with this?” She held up her dratapad, waving it around.

“Yeah, yeah, what exactly are you having trouble with?” He asked, scooting his chair closer to hers so he could read over her shoulder.


End file.
